Are you eagerly waiting to tickle the funny bones of your loved ones this Christmas? If yes, our compilation of the funniest Christmas jokes 2022, Merry Christmas Puns, Hilarious Santa Claus Jokes, and Christmas knock knock jokes will leave you in splits.
- Funny Merry Christmas Jokes 2022
- Best Santa Jokes 2022
- Christmas Jokes for Kids
- Christmas Cracker Jokes 2022
- Merry Christmas Elf Jokes
- Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes 2022
- Merry Christmas Puns
Funny Christmas Jokes 2022 | Merry Christmas Puns
Festivals are there in our lives to remind that life is more than about earning money, owning luxurious stuff, and hopping on to the exotic locations for flaunting swoon-worthy pictures on the social media platforms. It’s about having a good laugh with the loved ones, finding happiness in the little things, and creating everlasting memories that you could see again and again at the old age and get nostalgic.
Why is Santa so frustrated?
Because he only comes once a year and when he does it’s down a chimney!
Why was the snowman searching through the carrots? … Because he was picking his nose!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies
What is the best Christmas present?
A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
What is a French Santa’s favourite Christmas drink? Eau, eau, eau!
Why didn’t the pirates go pirating at Christmas?
They were in lockdown because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles, Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
Opened one of my Christmas presents and all that was in it was a single grain of rice?! …
I think it was from my Uncle Ben
What does Santa use to measure? Santameters!
Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card???
Because he went down in history.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A MINCE SPY
What does Christmas and weirdo’s have in comman? Fruitcake.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
Where does Father Christmas go now for a well deserved rest? Santa parcs
just seen a squirrel in central park……
would that be a furry tail in new york ?
How does Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker has got for Christmas?
He felt his presents.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis!!!!
Heard in church last night- What do you call the helpers that work for Santa?
What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out.
What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.
Santa is the main Clause.
His wife is a relative Clause.
His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.
Who makes toy guitars and sings ‘Blue Christmas’? Elfis.
What’s the similarities between the House of Parliament, and the stable Jesus was born in?
Both were well supplied with Asses.
What do you get it you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite
What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An ELF-cicle
Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elfis Presley
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
What kind of sandals do frogs wear?
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments? Tinsel-itis!
What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
When he gets a sweater but was hoping for a screamer or a moaner…
How did the man drown in his Christmas pudding?
He was pulled under by a strong currant.
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
He keeps a logbook
What did Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and Tell
How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? Cos… They had a weigh in a manger
What do reindeer hang on there antlers?
“I hope we all had a good Christmastime. I bought my wife a false leg for Christmas. It wasn’t her main present; it was a stocking filler!”
Which sea creatures come calling at Christmas? Coral singers!
Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why has production been down at Santa’s workshop this year?
Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!
Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drumsticks!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Smells like carrots around here!
What do the North Pole & South Pole have in common?
Nothing, they’re polar opposites!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A stocking!
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has NOeL.
What is Santa’s Elves’ favourite music, to dance to, at their office Christmas party? Wrap music!
What does Beyonce sing at Christmas? All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies…
Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman? Because he’s cool!
Why did Father Christmas get a second job as a gardener? So that he could ‘ho ho ho’!
Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join in on the conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the inn
What was Nehru’s favorite holiday song? Have a Jawarhalally Jolly Christmas.
What language is Father Christmas most fluent in? North Polish!
Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.
Which dinosaur loves Christmas the most? Tree Rex!
Who hides in the Christmas bakery section? A mince spy!
Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it ‘soots’ him!
What do gingerbread men sleep on? Cookie sheets!
Who delivers the cat & dog’s Christmas presents? Santa Paws!
What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
What make of car do elves drive? Toy-otas!
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
Why are Santas elves safe if they have an accident at work?They all have private elf care
What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?He pulled a cracker.
Also see: Heartwarming Merry Christmas Wishes
To make Christmas 2022 festival a fun-filled affair, funny Christmas jokes are there to give everyone heaps of laughter and propel them to grab their stomach out of pain because of laughing hard. Here is the freshest and the most funny collection of merry Christmas jokes 2022 that will chill the heck out of you and your loved ones. You can download these funny Christmas jokes 2022 and share them with those loved ones who will be far away from you this Christmas because of personal reasons. So, have your fair share of laugh by reading these funny Christmas jokes.
Best Santa Jokes 2022 | Funny Santa Claus Jokes with Images
Christmas is one of those rare festivals on which you can talk about day in and day out still never run out of the topics. However, one of the foremost talked about topics during Christmas is Santa Claus, a mythical figure that distributes gifts at night to kids sneakily. While the Santa Claus fascinates kids by leaps and bounds, adults make the outrageous fun of Santa Claus by making amusing Santa Claus Jokes.
How does Santa (that’s me) take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.
What’s the biggest overhead in Santa’s accounts? Private elf insurance!
What do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a claus.
What do elves answer when Santa takes roll call? PRESENT!
Why is Santa Claus afraid of chimneys?? Because he’s Claus-trophobic
Why did Santa have to see a podiatrist? Because he stubbed his mistleTOE
Santa: What is Santa’s favorite pizza
One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
White Santa: Ho Ho Ho! Santa is here.
Black Santa: Ho! Santa be here.
Brown Santa: Go do your homework.
What did the Christmas cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Mom: we will leave out cookies and vodka on Christmas Eve!
Santa: You are too kind, I do have to be able to drive home though
Why has Santa got such a huge sack??
…because he only comes once a year… Duh….
Why is Mrs Santa always upset at Xmas?
Because Mr Santa empties his sack everywhere else except at home.
What did Santa tell to his wife? It’s gonna rein deer.
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
Also see: Merry Christmas Quotes 2022
After hours of painstaking efforts, we have compiled the best funny Santa Claus Jokes 2022 that are bound to make you laugh hard. These Santa jokes are the epitome of hilariousness and competent enough to giggle the heck out of everyone. You can read all the Santa Claus 2022 Jokes at bedtime or when you are with friends and family members.
Funny Merry Christmas Jokes for Kids with Images | Hilarious Christmas 2022 Jokes for Kids
Who on the earth says that only adults can savor the fun of Christmas jokes but not kids? Like adults, kids also deserve to get a good laugh reading the funny Christmas joke for kids. As kids may or may not get the grasp of adult Christmas jokes, that’s why we have taken the pain of creating and collating the most funny merry Christmas jokes for kids that will entertain your little runts like nothing on the eve of Christmas festival.
How do you make opening your Christmas presents last longer? Open them with boxing gloves on.
Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools? Because there is not mushroom.
How do elves get up into the workshop attic? The Elflevator.
What does Santa Claus’ cat want for Christmas? Some new claus!
What does Father Christmas always go down the chimney? Because it shoots him!
What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t? A snowman on a zebra crossing!
The hours, the weather and the trend toward smaller chimneys.
Nike won’t give him a lucrative side-contract.
Santa: “So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?”
Girl: “I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe.”
What did the snowman and his wife hang over their baby’s crib? A Snow Mobile,
Why should you be careful at Christmas?
Thera are mince spies about.
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers.
How does Jack Frost travel to work? By Icicle.
What is a mum’s favourite Christmas carol? Silent Night.
Why is it always cold at Christmas? Because it is Decemberrrrrrr!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens? Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
What rains at the north pole? Reindeer!
Our collection of hilarious Christmas jokes 2022 for kids takes a subtle jibe on Santa Claus, elf, and Christmas decoration, the way adult celebrates Christmas, and the list is endless. Don’t forget to share these amusing Christmas Jokes for kids on social media platforms so that everyone can steal some laugh.
Christmas Cracker jokes
All Guys out there Merry Christmas to everyone and their family. How are you planning for this year 2022 Christmas? And one of the important things, have you written your silly and tide-bearing Christmas cracker jokes 2022? You haven’t and you don’t know what to write. Then don’t worry. We have some written and some we have accumulated for you a number of silliest and luxurious Christmas cracker jokes 2022, with which you love to crack your family during Christmas family dinner.
How many kicks does it take to break a bed? 1000
One night, a viking named Rudolph the Red looked out the window. He turned to his wife and said, “It’s going to rain.”
“How do you know that?” she asked. “
Because,” he replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What’s the best cheese to hide a horse in? Mascarpone.
What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season.
Why are Christmas trees very bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles!
What’s that lurking in the Christmas Tree…? A Mince-Spy!!
Why can’t you make clothes out of cheese? Because Fromage Frais.
Why did the tree grow teeth? Because it was a gum tree!
Which singer has the cleanest hands? Napkin Cole
What does Santa call his three-legged Reindeer? Eileen!!
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg
Did you hear about the guy who went for a cheap circumcision? It was a rip off.
What does the jalapeño say in the winter? I’m a little chilli
What did the monkey say when it got into a hot bath? Ooh ooh ooh…aah aah aah….
Why was the snowman rummaging through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose!
What kind of lighting did Noah use on the ark? Floodlights
What did Cinderella say to the chemist when her photos failed to arrive? Some day my prints will come.
What do you call a group of sheep rolling down a hill? A lambslide.
Why is a man going to put his father into a sack like a man travelling to a certain great Eastern city?
They are both going to Baghdad. (boom boom! oh, my aching sides.)
How did Mary and Joseph know baby Jesus was 6 pounds 12 ounces? Because they had a-WEIGH in a manger…
What do you call a group of Chess Champions arguing over who is the best in a hotel lobby?
‘Chess Nuts Boasting in an Open Foyer’
Why did the object leave the museum? Because it wanted to be a loan.
Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government
What’s a snowman’s favourite song? ‘Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow’
What do you give a person who has everything ? Antibiotics
Also see: Free Merry Christmas GIF 2022
Having fun with Christmas cracker jokes with family member and friends is an old tradition that people still love to have fun with. It is a bit impossible to say from where really this cracker joke tradition started but it is awesomely funny, that whether you get bored or get hilarious, it is here. In life whether you have money or not, love or not, car or not, but you must have fun every time whether alone or with whomever you like. And celebrate the festival as you like having all the best Christmas cracker jokes 2022.
Merry Christmas Elf Jokes
As there are a number of traditions and dishes for Christmas Eve; there are so a great number of Christmas elf jokes 2022, that you can crack with your favorite elf or with your friends. And yeah before cracking a joke with an elf, know whether it gonna curse you or bless you.
How do you describe an elf who refuses to take a bath? Elfully smelly.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas? Gnome on the range!
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
What do you call an elf who teaches english? A subordinate Claus.
What kind of money do elves use? Jingle bills!
Why did Santa tell off one of his elves? Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner!
Why do elves scratch themselves? Because they’re the only ones who know where its itchy!
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes!
Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drum sticks!
Where do you find elves? Depends where you left them!
What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in the chimney? Claustrophobia!
“What kind of money do elves use?” She bit her lip. “Jingle bills!”
“What is big, green and packs a trunk?” She giggled. “An Elfephant!”
What type of photos does Santa take? Elfies.
Christmas in July party tonight! I will scream “SANTA” at the top of my lungs and call every little person I see a South Pole Elf
Why was santas helper depressed? He has low ELFesteem.
San Francisco is trending. you know why? because that fun to say
What do you call a hot mom elf? A Melf
Where do the elves go to the toilet in the north pole? The igloo.
What do Santa’s helpers like to post on twitter Elfies!
Did you know that Christmas trees come from Hawaii?
Sure, haven’t you ever heard the song, “O Tanning Balm”?
What do they call a wild elf in Texas? Gnome on the range!
Why do elves work for Santa? Because he is a jolly good fellow!
Also see: Heart Touching Merry Christmas Poems
Some elves get angry quickly. So you must be cautious about it. Last year when Christmas was, I with my some friends made some cardboard elves and reindeer with Santa Claus. It was a school project that we did. The interesting thing was; there were Christmas elf jokes were written behind every piece of cardboard made elf. We colored them all and put them in various Christmas cracker boxes. And besides all, you do ask Santa, that what does he talk with elves, about what things? When you know, you tell us because we are curious to know. Here are all the best Christmas elf jokes for you all. Just try to please an elf with your true heart and it would make your whole life beautiful.
Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes 2022
Every year Christmas falls on 25 December and this year too! So how do you like our this Christmas knock-knock joke. Although we don’t say knock but it is a Christmas knock-knock joke 2022, that you would love to add to your knock-knock jokes list.
Who’s there ?
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?
Who’s there ?
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !
Avery. Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas!
Who’s there ?
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger… !
Who’s there ?
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !
Who’s there ?
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull… !
Who’s there ?
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
Who’s there ?
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !
Who’s there ?
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil !
Who’s there ?
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie… !
Who’s there ?
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !
Our Wayne who?
Our Wayne in a manger!
Snow. Snow who?
Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name!
Also see: Hilarious Merry Christmas 2022 Memes
Merry Christmas Puns
What book did Jane Austen write for Christmas? Frankincense and Sensibility!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
You better not bark, you better not whine. You better not bite, I’m telling you why!
If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
Who’s Santa’s favorite movie character? Chimney Cricket.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind his manners the most? Rude Olph.
I’m starting to feel like Saint Nickel-less with all this shopping.
How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
These types of jokes are hilariously funniest thing on this entire earth. Simple sober and you can play with whomever you want to. Just leave some serious people who don’t understand in jokes! Santa Claus often plays with his reindeer Rudolph and his favorite elves. He loves to gossip. We have selected a list of best Christmas knock-knock jokes. You can best play all these jokes after Christmas dinner or in Christmas party. The fun is when a husband and a wife plays or a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Whoever has invented Christmas knock-knock jokes might have been knocking on someone’s door while other was not answering, who already knew who at the door, yet they ask who is there. It could be a theory. We could guess. Here are all the jokes below. And yes, Merry Christmas to you and your family! May God almighty pour blessings on you.